Cool Cat. Ninja. Kite. Rocket. Umbrella Man. Rooster.
Put together these words and they have the makings of one very epic children’s story. (The Ninja flew on his Kite Rocket to meet with the Umbrella Man to battle his Cool Cat against the Rooster.) However study them separately and you’re left with monikers from UAAP MBT players (past and
present).
A moniker can be something you’re known by, a play on your name or something that embodies your abilities. Mike Cortez was called Cool Cat due to his… being cool? I have no idea. But he was an excellent player nonetheless. Joseph Yeo was the ninja because he a) had ninja like moves
or b) he’s Chinese and someone just wanted to point that out by dragging something extremely Asian into the mix (will go for the former but I just wanted to throw that out there). JC Intal was said to be the Rocket (or “The Flight”, according to Wikipedia. But that site isn’t really that accurate or credible so whatever). RR Garcia was called the Rooster. I’m assuming this is because of his second name (Roose). But I think they also hoped to impart the spirit of the magical and epically awesome Sarimanok in him, thus bringing him good fortune since he won the Most Valuable Player award.
Jerome Tungcul was said to have been dubbed the “Umbrella Man” by barker Rolly Manlapaz due to an incident three years ago where it was raining really hard after a game. Tungcul borrowed an umbrella from Manlapaz, which he failed to return. This most dreadful act peeved Manlapaz, who took it upon himself to bestow the nickname on the NU player.
With this in mind, what the heck did Emman Monfort do to deserve to be called “Pocket Rocket”? I have two issues with this. First… exactly how many inches did Intal have on the 5’6-but-5’7-with-shoes Monfort? In order to differentiate the two, did they have to stress on the lack of the height of the other my referring to him as pocket?
And second, what exactly is a pocket rocket and why does it sound so disturbing? Its just two seemingly harmless words put together to describe a player and yet, somehow in the back of your mind, there’s something not quite right about it. A quick Google or Yahoo search might tell you that a pocket rocket is a type or brand of minibike, which by the looks of it seem very portable (given its very small size) and durable. However, one of the many definitions on Urban Dictionary says otherwise.
Let me be clear that I have nothing against Monfort. I think he’s actually a pretty good player and has made numerous contributions to his team. He even won a well-deserved award for being the “Most improved” because of the major major ass kicking he dealt his opponents this season. But with this newfound information on what a pocket rocket really is, can you imagine how much fun the announcers or commentators could have with this sort.
“Emman ‘the pocket rocket’ Monfort gets it to go!” can take on an entirely new meaning. You can just feel them vibrating from the excitement. Headlines like “The Pocket Rocket Explodes” or statements like “THE SMALLEST guy on the court dished out the biggest performance of his life”
will possibly be the most laugh-out-loud double entendre in MBT existence.
But hey. If he takes pride in being known as the pocket rocket, more power to him. At the end of the day he’s part of a championship team. Knowing that is enough to stroke his ego.
Yes, I meant to say that and no I didn’t mean anything by it.
